5 things nobody tells you about growing up

When you are in your 20s, you are just a baby dreaming of a life with success & expensive lifestyle, and you think it everything is waiting for you …

But you are still unsure!

It can happen in your late 20s, early 30s, or maybe in your 50s 😲

There are emergencies, family problems, and critical situations, where you feel demotivated to work again towards your dreams.

Because, you know, life is not a chocolate-fountain that will keep on with the same flavor, but it is like a surprise flavor which will either give you a sweet or a sour taste.

So what you do is you get back to dreaming, but this time you reduce your dream level and hope to at least experience a decent life in the future.

But the truth is that you will always crave more, and never realize that you have been getting what you dreamt earlier.

See, I’ll tell you…

So when I started dreaming about going into a city and living an independent life in my teenage years, I did not think that it would really happen.

But it did.

I moved out, lived in a big city, made my own decisions, and made a decent living.

But did I look back and reflect on it? No!

I started craving more. I thought, why do I still not have a car? When will I have a comfortable life?

I start with these questions again because here, I am being selfish and greedy for more. Of course, you can dream for more and work towards it…

But the thing is that if you don’t reflect and thank yourself for where you are, you will lose track and mind to work on your future.

You will constantly compare yourself with your peers.

So, do one thing, take out a page — write your dreams from when you were 15, write your dreams from age 25, and compare them to where or how you have grown.

Things that changed, how a decade made you better, or what did you do to say you are proud of yourself — write that! Go do it now!!!!

Here’s how nobody tells you that it is okay to stop, reflect, and compare your situations to understand yourself and your life better. Similarly, there are a lot of things people will never tell you…

#1 Nobody tells you that adult life is too much

An older adult will never tell you that adulting sucks! Because they don’t want you to know that their life sucks, nobody tells you about growing up, things that they face.

That’s true!

Now think, reallyyyyy think, have you ever observed how when you were 15, all the seniors advised you to do this, or do that, but they never ever said oh, I think I failed in life because my adult life is too hard to handle.

Nooooo! Nobody ever said that.

Even when you think about yourself, have you ever shared guidance with a person younger than you… about life and told him your difficulties and that adulting will make you go mad.. Hahaha … No Never!

Because nobody shares their true feelings… Because now, people will discover that they failed, they are unhappy, they are suffering, and then it will be a disaster.

So, when you think that you are going through too much, don’t worry, we all are here doing the same.

You need to greet your life, say thanks for the experiences, and move on!

Don’t let it get to you and hold back from dreaming again.

#2 Nobody tells you how hard it is to rewire your brain

You can learn, but can you unlearn?

The first step is to understand that you have some things in your mind, your life, that need unlearning.

Acknowledging the need for a change is the first step to rewire your brain.

You need to question everything, your beliefs, your food habits, Ask yourself “Why do I think this way?”

When you assess things and find that something needs unlearning, then that’s when you replace misinformation with knowledge from reliable sources and authentic knowledge.

I have learned, while writing my university thesis, that critical thinking indeed plays an important role in looking at situations with two arguments — against and for.

Because when you develop the ability to think and to criticize, you truly grow and expand your brain wires.

#3 Nobody tells you that you are never completely settled in life

You are growing, you will grow, life is meant to stop when your heartbeat is a straight line.

This means that you will never be settled.

These thoughts are disturbing — by 30 you should be settled — by 40 you should buy a house and settle — or by 60 your bank account should retire… ALL RUBBISH THINGS!

Life doesn’t stop changing, and neither should you. You should always be open to learning, think that you are growing but not settled, and you need to work for your constant transformation.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs [1] shows that at first, we focus on physiological needs, safety needs, love needs, esteem needs, and finally self-actualization.

The peak of human potential as per Maslow is self-actualization. But do you know that even after achieving that, people want to work for the betterment and their well-being…

Like, Elon Musk is driven by the vision to transition the world to sustainable energy and innovating for humanity’s future keeps him motivated.

This is how you know that there’s more to life than just being settled in it.

#4 Nobody tells you that you don’t need the approval of others

Seeking validation? Don’t.

In 2024, I am sure 95% of the people clicked selfies and posted as a way to seek validation in their lives.

Are they having a good life? Are they well-settled? Are they travelling enough? Do they have a partner? Do they listen to good music? Are they buying new stuff?

All these thoughts are driven by the need for validation from people to tell you, “Oh! Wow, look at you thriving in life”.

But you don’t need that!

You just need to focus on what comforts you — if a brand is comfortable for your sportswear, choose that and screw what others are saying about it.

If you are comfortable with an Android, screw what iPhone lovers are screaming about it and vice versa. It is about your choice.

My point is you don’t need validation and fake your life on the internet to just get temporary thoughts which will go away in 5 seconds.

I mean, how long do you think about a person, when you see them buying new things or travelling to a new place on the Internet? Maybe 5 minutes or a maximum of a day, and then? You just forget about it.

So do that, forget those temporary people and their comments, and live for you, your comfort.

#5 Nobody tells you that you cannot change everyone

Stop changing people!

You are not their guardian angels. You can advise, yes, but you cannot force them to change if they don’t want to.

Think about your parents…

They have had a different life than you, different times, different generations...

Your parents might hold on to traditional beliefs, like job stability and see freelancing or as unreliable…

But would you believe that? No!

Even if you explain to them a thousand times, they will not change their vision because they are not accustomed to the situation.

They will see you earning through freelancing, and then change their vision because now, slowly, they are getting accustomed to it.

Your role here is to support the people and accept them, not force them to see the world through your lens.

Just focus on changing yourself for the better, and don’t linger changing people every time.